Have you ever been sitting and thinking when an idea comes through and so thoroughly grips your heart that you can't stop cherishing it? Well if you don't mind I'm going to take a break from my sermon to share one of these moments with you that I experienced literally moments ago.
I was sitting with my Father and my sister watching a cinematic classic known as Meet Joe Black. For those of you who haven't seen it (other than highly recommending you watch every scene other than one) I will briefly summarize without spoiling it.
An older gentleman is nearing death when he makes a deal with the angel of death for a few more days of life in exchange for some poorly worded vacation time. Near the end of the movie as he approaches his coming death he ponders his life and sums it up by saying at his going away party
" I thought I was going to sneak away tonight. What a glorious night. Every face I see is a memory. It may not be a perfectly perfect memory. Sometimes we had our ups and downs. But we're all together, and you're mine for a night. And I'm going to break precedent and tell you my one candle wish: that you would have a life as lucky as mine, where you can wake up one morning and say, "I don't want anything more." Sixty-five years. Don't they go by in a blink? "
This speech got me thinking what is our life like? Can we say we want nothing more? What would our lives look like? It was in this moment that a series of thoughts popped in my head about what I want to be said about me at my life's conclusion. May they be true for our generation too!
May we not pursue money, but instead pursue moments.
May we not pursue luxury, but instead pursue love.
May we not pursue riches, but instead be wealthy in friendships.
May we not pursue fame, but instead pursue family
Lastly:
May we not pursue a religion, but instead follow a relationship that consumes our heart!
Your list may look slightly different than mine, but at the end of the day take time in following moments, days, months, and years to decide what really matters. When you've found whatever and whomever it may be, for my sake, for our sake, don't stop pursuing it! Never let go!
What will be your legacy? What will be our generations legacy? There is still time for you, for us to decide what we will leave behind! Because to quote Sir Hopkins. "65 years. Don't they go bye in a blink ?"
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Embrace the Unusual
For those of you who weren't able to attend my latest sermon about the three wise men, I have decided to write a blog about each of the three points. With some new stories and different twists for those who were in attendance! The first of these being the idea of how God loves the unusual!
As some of you may know one of the most impactful relationships in my life is with my youth pastor and mentor Dave Clancy. He came to my church at the end of my 9th/ beginning of tenth grade year. He saw me in my gangly lanky growing days, on into my graduation, and has continued to guide me even in my college days. From him shooting jump shots with me to speaking some of the wisest biblical advice into my life, He has always poured into me in a big way!
So it should be no surprise that when I go home from school, that we continue our relationship as mentor and intern as we chat about church leadership, fishing, and sometimes women while we work alongside each other at the church. It was on one of these days that Dave and myself sat in his office with another close elder that God once again spoke through Dave right into my heart!
We were talking about my sermon from the previous night as we broke down pro's and con's, He looked plainly to me and Reggie and said "You know what really got me last night Dustin." You know me I was of course clueless, so I shook my head. He continued "What got me was, that last night I was sitting watching you preach the gospel in the very same spot I met you 5 years ago."
You see there wasn't a full stage fit for any band or speaker there then. Instead of drum risers and guitars there was a basketball goal and some basketballs. In the same place I was pouring my heart into a microphone, only 5 years earlier I was working (and failing) on pouring some three pointers into a small orange rim.
It was in this trip down memory lane that got me remembering the first point of my sermon. "God uses unusual things to bring unusual people to his son". It was in that very moment that God smacked me in the face and said "I didn't stop doing that with the wise men, just look at how I drew you."
You see in Matthew 2 we find a group of men looking for Jesus because they had been led there by a star. We often call them the 3 wise men, or 3 kings. However, these men were not kings at all. They were actually astronomers! In their day they were the weirdos, the outcasts, the unusual. However we see God using a star to bring them to Jesus. As I was reading this text I was questioning why would God use a star? He of course then hit me over the head and said "Dustin because it fit the men perfectly! I used an unusual thing to bring unusual people to my son.
As I sat there in Dave's office I looked back at how I had gotten here. 5 years ago I was an insecure punk who loved basketball, I had for a time given up on God because it sure felt like He had given up on me. I hadn't been to church regularly in a year or two. Until one day a kid on my bus named TJ invited me to his church to play basketball. It was really close to home and I loved playing ball so I of course went!
We would play from the time the bus dropped us off at church until dinner and bible study. For a long time church became this thing I had to sit through in order to use the nice goals. All of us boys would play there every Wednesday without fail. So no surprise that's where Dave found me his very first day. Dave shot with us, and even threw the football with us as well.
Before long we began growing a relationship, and bible study led by Dave wasn't so bad. Church became exciting all the way through the lesson instead of just up to it. Cool things started happening in my heart as I found that slowly God was reigniting the passion for Him in me, that I had long since allowed to grow dormant.
However, TJ had an opposite reaction. He started drinking at night, and pursuing the wrong kind of girls. Eventually we stopped hanging out because our lives were going in different directions. He finally got into drugs really bad and has since gone to jail several times.
While some people would look at my relationship with TJ and say what a tragedy. Philipians 1:3 "I thank my God every time I remember you." I believe this verse better describes my relationship with TJ. Ya sure we don't hang out anymore, and sure he has been in jail. But TJ invited me to church, where I met Dave, and where I eventually fell head over heels in love with Jesus Christ.
God used someone who would eventually become a blaspheming drug addict, to bring me back to His son.
Some of us like to sit and think "God couldn't use me because I'm ." Maybe we fill that blank with weird, bad, weak, shy, dumb, or maybe even sinful. But take heart! At 14 I wasn't the kid that preachers were declaring from the pulpit "If only he could get saved the world would be a better place." As a matter of fact I was probably not going to be a top recruit for anyone trying to change the world. I was unusual.
But guess what God used an unusual thing (TJ and Basketball) to bring an unusual person (Yours truly) to his son. Since that day God has radically reshaped my heart and grown me over the past 5 years. God loves taking the unusual and making them unstoppable for His name! God loves taking your mistakes and transforming them into miracles.
5 years ago TJ wouldn't have believed the impact he has had on my life. Dave wouldn't have believed the impact he has had on our church and my life, and I sure wouldn't have believed that 5 years later I would be preaching from the spot that I shot jumpers from.
But that's the beauty of God, he loves and uses who the world would call "unusual" to change the world!
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
We may be unusual, we may be weak; but who cares. God uses unusual things to bring unusual people to Jesus.
As some of you may know one of the most impactful relationships in my life is with my youth pastor and mentor Dave Clancy. He came to my church at the end of my 9th/ beginning of tenth grade year. He saw me in my gangly lanky growing days, on into my graduation, and has continued to guide me even in my college days. From him shooting jump shots with me to speaking some of the wisest biblical advice into my life, He has always poured into me in a big way!
So it should be no surprise that when I go home from school, that we continue our relationship as mentor and intern as we chat about church leadership, fishing, and sometimes women while we work alongside each other at the church. It was on one of these days that Dave and myself sat in his office with another close elder that God once again spoke through Dave right into my heart!
We were talking about my sermon from the previous night as we broke down pro's and con's, He looked plainly to me and Reggie and said "You know what really got me last night Dustin." You know me I was of course clueless, so I shook my head. He continued "What got me was, that last night I was sitting watching you preach the gospel in the very same spot I met you 5 years ago."
You see there wasn't a full stage fit for any band or speaker there then. Instead of drum risers and guitars there was a basketball goal and some basketballs. In the same place I was pouring my heart into a microphone, only 5 years earlier I was working (and failing) on pouring some three pointers into a small orange rim.
It was in this trip down memory lane that got me remembering the first point of my sermon. "God uses unusual things to bring unusual people to his son". It was in that very moment that God smacked me in the face and said "I didn't stop doing that with the wise men, just look at how I drew you."
You see in Matthew 2 we find a group of men looking for Jesus because they had been led there by a star. We often call them the 3 wise men, or 3 kings. However, these men were not kings at all. They were actually astronomers! In their day they were the weirdos, the outcasts, the unusual. However we see God using a star to bring them to Jesus. As I was reading this text I was questioning why would God use a star? He of course then hit me over the head and said "Dustin because it fit the men perfectly! I used an unusual thing to bring unusual people to my son.
As I sat there in Dave's office I looked back at how I had gotten here. 5 years ago I was an insecure punk who loved basketball, I had for a time given up on God because it sure felt like He had given up on me. I hadn't been to church regularly in a year or two. Until one day a kid on my bus named TJ invited me to his church to play basketball. It was really close to home and I loved playing ball so I of course went!
We would play from the time the bus dropped us off at church until dinner and bible study. For a long time church became this thing I had to sit through in order to use the nice goals. All of us boys would play there every Wednesday without fail. So no surprise that's where Dave found me his very first day. Dave shot with us, and even threw the football with us as well.
Before long we began growing a relationship, and bible study led by Dave wasn't so bad. Church became exciting all the way through the lesson instead of just up to it. Cool things started happening in my heart as I found that slowly God was reigniting the passion for Him in me, that I had long since allowed to grow dormant.
However, TJ had an opposite reaction. He started drinking at night, and pursuing the wrong kind of girls. Eventually we stopped hanging out because our lives were going in different directions. He finally got into drugs really bad and has since gone to jail several times.
While some people would look at my relationship with TJ and say what a tragedy. Philipians 1:3 "I thank my God every time I remember you." I believe this verse better describes my relationship with TJ. Ya sure we don't hang out anymore, and sure he has been in jail. But TJ invited me to church, where I met Dave, and where I eventually fell head over heels in love with Jesus Christ.
God used someone who would eventually become a blaspheming drug addict, to bring me back to His son.
Some of us like to sit and think "God couldn't use me because I'm ." Maybe we fill that blank with weird, bad, weak, shy, dumb, or maybe even sinful. But take heart! At 14 I wasn't the kid that preachers were declaring from the pulpit "If only he could get saved the world would be a better place." As a matter of fact I was probably not going to be a top recruit for anyone trying to change the world. I was unusual.
But guess what God used an unusual thing (TJ and Basketball) to bring an unusual person (Yours truly) to his son. Since that day God has radically reshaped my heart and grown me over the past 5 years. God loves taking the unusual and making them unstoppable for His name! God loves taking your mistakes and transforming them into miracles.
5 years ago TJ wouldn't have believed the impact he has had on my life. Dave wouldn't have believed the impact he has had on our church and my life, and I sure wouldn't have believed that 5 years later I would be preaching from the spot that I shot jumpers from.
But that's the beauty of God, he loves and uses who the world would call "unusual" to change the world!
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
We may be unusual, we may be weak; but who cares. God uses unusual things to bring unusual people to Jesus.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
What are you trying to prove?
So I recently got to experience one of the most precious, desired, sought after, longed for, yearned for, and anticipated experiences in the life of a college student. The one thing that two weeks before every student is counting down the days for and two weeks after students are still wishing they were there. All you collegiate readers out there know exactly what i'm talking about.... Going home for Thanksgiving Break!!!
Thanksgiving Break is that awesome time where we as students get to return home with our mouths watering in anticipation for Turkey, mashed potatoes, and of course some pie for dessert (even though I'm not a fan of pie). It's a time where we get to see and be reunited with our loving families and enjoy there company once again.
All in all this seems like such a peachy, amazing time doesn't it?
For me and for others I'm sure this time is not always biscuits and gravy though. For those like me who had a somewhat spotty and rough past going home can often painful reminders of your mistakes. Last year as a freshman this was my biggest struggle about going back home. I didn't want to face my past because I wasn't completely over it.
However this year it was something totally different I found myself once again feeling stupid about. This year to the glory of God I can say I don't even resemble the young boy dressed in man's clothes who left a little over a year and a half ago. It's so awesome! God has done huge things in my heart and is still transforming me into the Man He wants me to be. So as I went home I should be excited, and joyful right?
Well the thing was I should be! I had every right to be! However, if you read this blog regularly you should know by know that I'm pretty dumb and it's often through my ignorance that God teaches me things. So it should be no surprise that was again my ignorance and pride got in the way of my joy for a time on this break.
When I got home, I was so ready to prove to everyone that as Brandon Heath so eloquently puts "I'm not who I was". I think differently, I talk differently, I carry myself differently and most importantly my relationship with God was closer than it had ever been! I wanted to show everyone that I wasn't the womanizing lying insecure punk that left. So when I was hanging out with my friends I would often say something and immediately question myself if that was "Old Dustin" or "New Dustin".
It was one night after one of these hangouts in which I was pouring my heart out to God in my bed, that he said something that once again smacked me in the mouth. He said clear as day right in my heart "Dustin, Am I not enough? I know the change that's been going on in your heart, I'm the One authoring it! Is it not enough for you that I know how much change has happened? Why do you feel the need to have others see it? Why do you want to prove yourself to them? Who's opinion matters more to you, Theirs or Mine?
OUCH!!!! Talk about times when God can cut you deep right at the heart! I immediately repented and asked God for forgiveness! It was in the days afterward as I was reflecting on this story that God placed a verse on my mind.
1 Samuel 16:7 " But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart".
So if there is something that I can pass along to those of you who may be feeling like I was, who may be thinking "I have grown so much, I have changed so much, Why doesn't anyone seem to notice?"; it would be this. You may be pushing and enduring and on your last leg from struggling to change your life and overcome your problems. You may feel like no one notices or cares. But take heart in this! While we as humans are often dumb and may not notice, God Does!!
He has numbered the hairs on your head, and He knows you better and more intimately than any of us! He is your father and even in this time of struggle and growing pains, He is right behind you cheering you on saying "Keep going, I'm proud of you, and I love you"
So the next time you are caught in the dumb cycle I was ensnared in of trying to prove yourself to people, to show them you have changed; take time and ask a yourself "(Insert name here), What are you trying to prove?"
Monday, November 21, 2011
Push Through!
This may come as a shock to some of you, but I, Dustin Wells, am a hopeless romantic. Maybe it was all the Disney Movies I watched as a young kid, or the good guy gets the girl TV shows I watched in my teenage years but I'm such a sucker for happy endings. I mean what guy doesn't want to be the underdog who at some point his girl "friend" realizes how amazing he really is, and what girl doesn't want to be swept off her feet by a charming amazing man (At least I think that's what girls want, i'm not even gonna pretend like I know).
But as I look around the world today I seem to find very few perfect stories. I don't see the fireworks and magic carpet rides the movies have taught us to yearn for. The truth is that these fantasies are just that: fantasies. They are fictional stories that capture our minds and hearts because they are so different from reality. However, what I think is dangerous is that we in our minds have made the jump to say that not only are these stories different than reality but they must be better.
This different = better phenomenon has even crept it's way into the church culture. Where we as a church have started to believe that if life isn't cookie cutter perfect that something has to be wrong! We are messed up, and life is so so so not fair!! How could God let this happen to us?
This growing leap crept it's way into my heart as well. I found myself very recently in a position where I had this perfect picture of how this scenario in my life was going to play out... But it didn't. This caused my ambitious and ignorant mind to grow confused and a little annoyed with God. I was so confused, I knew that God had led me to this point. He had placed me in this position, and he had already answered prayer about it. He also had given myself and others this vision and burning in our heart and He was leading down this road. But in this very moment as I sat annoyed and confused, it seemed like to me that God's provision wasn't backing his guidance.
I had always heard where God guides, God provides; or another one if it's God's will it's God's bill. So what was going on here? It was in this moment of my stupidity that God chose to speak to me, and break me of my foolishness. He just told me to keep going, push through, and trust him.
It's kind of funny that in the movie scenario there never seems to be that moment where the people are hurt, doubting, and confused about huge life issues. Where am I gonna live? Does anyone even love me? What am I going to do with my life? How am I going to pay the bills? You almost never find these questions in the newest Nicholas Sparks romantic comedies. But the one that I want to focus on is the very one we in the church, and myself at times ask when our lives don't match that of Aladdin or Cinderella. GOD WHERE ARE YOU?
I caught myself asking this question and immediately felt like a dufus, here am I a young man who God has called into the ministry and is currently in ministry asking God where he was. It was then that my eyes were opened to the idea of endurance.
There are several examples of men and women in the Bible who showed great endurance, but I thought I would focus on Jesus. As you read the gospels, you will find time and time again the words "So Jesus set his face towards Jerusalem" or other tid-bits that speak of Christ's continual journey towards Jerusalem. This got me wondering, why is this in here?? I believe that the Bible is God's word, and that it is from God (2 Timothy 3:16) and that everything is in there for a reason. So why is this in here??
One day I was listening to a preacher, and he told me. "Hey Gang, what is going to happen at Jerusalem?"
At which point I was like OOOHHH rigghhhtt!
The idea being that all along Jesus was going to Jerusalem, or his death on the cross. From the manger to the mount of Olives it was all about fulfilling his destiny. So after reading and hearing that I decided to flip to when Jesus got to Jerusalem.
Let's pick it up from there, Jesus is betrayed by Judas. He goes through a mock trial with Pontious Pilate who even though finding no fault condemns Him, He then is beaten severely up to the point of death. Then has a crown of poisonous thorns crammed into His head, then is forced to carry His cross (which thanks to the beatings He is physically too weak to do) until Simeon is forced to help Him carry it the rest of the way to Golgotha. Once at Golgotha, as He is hanging on the cross He experienced people mocking Him and telling Him if He is so high and mighty to save Himself.
This is the last straw for me, at this point I'm so mad at how they were treating Him, I wanted to scream you fools!!! He could save himself, but He chose not to, so that through Him we might be saved and have a relationship with the father.
Boom!! There it is, on a much larger scale than my petty grievance, Jesus has been sent with a purpose but it doesn't seem all glowy and cheery like the movies. I mean he was beaten, but he was beaten so that God's purpose could be fulfilled.
John 19:30 "So when Jesus received the sour wine, He said "It is finished!" And bowing His head, He gave up His spirit."
That verse pierced so much deeper when I saw it through the lens of Christ's enduring work for us on the cross. He screamed it's finished, because he had made it to the end of his race! He had suffered all the pain and shame but he had endured it all so that God's plan could be completed.
I know myself and lots of my friends are in positions where we are going through a tough time. But if I can encourage you with something God has been teaching me, it's simply that sometimes we have to go through tough times so that God's purpose may be fulfilled. As my good friend Jordan Hibbard puts it "Your various seasons are what God uses to season your life." Don't lose heart! There is a light at the end of every tunnel! Keep pushing, push through, and most importantly Trust him. If he was willing to endure all of Jerusalem for us, don't you think He will come through for you?
But as I look around the world today I seem to find very few perfect stories. I don't see the fireworks and magic carpet rides the movies have taught us to yearn for. The truth is that these fantasies are just that: fantasies. They are fictional stories that capture our minds and hearts because they are so different from reality. However, what I think is dangerous is that we in our minds have made the jump to say that not only are these stories different than reality but they must be better.
This different = better phenomenon has even crept it's way into the church culture. Where we as a church have started to believe that if life isn't cookie cutter perfect that something has to be wrong! We are messed up, and life is so so so not fair!! How could God let this happen to us?
This growing leap crept it's way into my heart as well. I found myself very recently in a position where I had this perfect picture of how this scenario in my life was going to play out... But it didn't. This caused my ambitious and ignorant mind to grow confused and a little annoyed with God. I was so confused, I knew that God had led me to this point. He had placed me in this position, and he had already answered prayer about it. He also had given myself and others this vision and burning in our heart and He was leading down this road. But in this very moment as I sat annoyed and confused, it seemed like to me that God's provision wasn't backing his guidance.
I had always heard where God guides, God provides; or another one if it's God's will it's God's bill. So what was going on here? It was in this moment of my stupidity that God chose to speak to me, and break me of my foolishness. He just told me to keep going, push through, and trust him.
It's kind of funny that in the movie scenario there never seems to be that moment where the people are hurt, doubting, and confused about huge life issues. Where am I gonna live? Does anyone even love me? What am I going to do with my life? How am I going to pay the bills? You almost never find these questions in the newest Nicholas Sparks romantic comedies. But the one that I want to focus on is the very one we in the church, and myself at times ask when our lives don't match that of Aladdin or Cinderella. GOD WHERE ARE YOU?
I caught myself asking this question and immediately felt like a dufus, here am I a young man who God has called into the ministry and is currently in ministry asking God where he was. It was then that my eyes were opened to the idea of endurance.
There are several examples of men and women in the Bible who showed great endurance, but I thought I would focus on Jesus. As you read the gospels, you will find time and time again the words "So Jesus set his face towards Jerusalem" or other tid-bits that speak of Christ's continual journey towards Jerusalem. This got me wondering, why is this in here?? I believe that the Bible is God's word, and that it is from God (2 Timothy 3:16) and that everything is in there for a reason. So why is this in here??
One day I was listening to a preacher, and he told me. "Hey Gang, what is going to happen at Jerusalem?"
At which point I was like OOOHHH rigghhhtt!
The idea being that all along Jesus was going to Jerusalem, or his death on the cross. From the manger to the mount of Olives it was all about fulfilling his destiny. So after reading and hearing that I decided to flip to when Jesus got to Jerusalem.
Let's pick it up from there, Jesus is betrayed by Judas. He goes through a mock trial with Pontious Pilate who even though finding no fault condemns Him, He then is beaten severely up to the point of death. Then has a crown of poisonous thorns crammed into His head, then is forced to carry His cross (which thanks to the beatings He is physically too weak to do) until Simeon is forced to help Him carry it the rest of the way to Golgotha. Once at Golgotha, as He is hanging on the cross He experienced people mocking Him and telling Him if He is so high and mighty to save Himself.
This is the last straw for me, at this point I'm so mad at how they were treating Him, I wanted to scream you fools!!! He could save himself, but He chose not to, so that through Him we might be saved and have a relationship with the father.
Boom!! There it is, on a much larger scale than my petty grievance, Jesus has been sent with a purpose but it doesn't seem all glowy and cheery like the movies. I mean he was beaten, but he was beaten so that God's purpose could be fulfilled.
John 19:30 "So when Jesus received the sour wine, He said "It is finished!" And bowing His head, He gave up His spirit."
That verse pierced so much deeper when I saw it through the lens of Christ's enduring work for us on the cross. He screamed it's finished, because he had made it to the end of his race! He had suffered all the pain and shame but he had endured it all so that God's plan could be completed.
I know myself and lots of my friends are in positions where we are going through a tough time. But if I can encourage you with something God has been teaching me, it's simply that sometimes we have to go through tough times so that God's purpose may be fulfilled. As my good friend Jordan Hibbard puts it "Your various seasons are what God uses to season your life." Don't lose heart! There is a light at the end of every tunnel! Keep pushing, push through, and most importantly Trust him. If he was willing to endure all of Jerusalem for us, don't you think He will come through for you?
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Born Identity?
Hello my name is Dustin Wells, and I'm a recovering Identity Theft Victim.
America has made Identity Theft a popularized crime and an ever-growing awareness to the dangers of it. However, when we say Identity Theft we tend to solely focus on our bank accounts. We flip out if someone is taking our identity so that they can use our credit cards and ruin our precious credit scores. This idea of Identity Theft focuses on someone stealing or taking your identity, whether that be financial or lifestyle. We have made movies about people recovering their identity from someone else, (Bourne Identity series).
We all cheer when Matt Damon beats up the people who stole his Identity from him, while the majority of us are losing our Identity without even knowing it.
I'm a recovering Identity Theft Victim and I too like Matt Damon have had to fight entities to recover who I am. The main difference between Matt Damon and myself is that I gave my Identity away while Matt Damon had his stolen away.
Who am I?
That was the question I was seeking to answer throughout my middle and high school years, and I looked in all the wrong places.
In middle school I wanted to be the kid who got to hang out with cool kids so badly that I allowed myself to get bullied and pressure into doing things that I knew were wrong just so I could be in their "club". However, this still left me being empty inside and quite frankly I didn't like very much who I was at that point. So I kept looking....
Later in Middle School I found a pretty solid group of friends but I still didn't know who I was, so when I made the middle school soccer team I though that I would be the masculine jock. (Okay looking back now, I do realize that sounds ridiculous) However this didn't work very well at this point in my life, and my 8th grade year I actually had to undergo knee surgery which of course put me out of commission. I had tried to place who I was in sports at this point and found that it wasn't enough....
So then like every guy ever did I started to try to define who I was by who I was or was not dating. For three years off and on I was Heidi McClure's boyfriend and I liked that. However seeing how that was where my identity lied this led to problems and shortcomings on my behalf. I claimed to be a Christ follower but for some one who claimed that I sure was trying to play God in my own life, or even yet exalt things to the same level as Him.
After my shortcomings and immaturity led to my relationship with Heidi ending I continued to try to not address the real problem of myself by pursuing more girls, because if I found the right one it would fix everything! I very quickly got my heart broken again and again because despite how ridiculous it was I was seeking these girls to fill my void in my heart left by not knowing who I was.
It was then that I was no longer okay with having my heartbroken and decided to jade my heart and basically define myself by not only who I was going on dates with but who else I could get to be interested in me. These flings lasted shorter and shorter because the whole in my heart got greater and greater, my life was only as good as my "girl" at the time was. If I was single something was wrong with me.
This hole remained all the way through my high school years, as I would then try to fill it with basketball as well as girls. Even though I was an all-conference forward and dated the "girl of my dreams" I found that I was still not comfortable with who I was. I couldn't figure it out.
I made it to college and was immediately thrust into a ministerial position due to charisma and natural leadership ability. However, I didn't have the character or integrity necessary for this position. So this promotion allowed me to get extremely prideful and quite honestly fake. I didn't know who I was so I tried to become the position i was assigned, I tried to become the man I thought people wanted me to be.
This struggle and fakeness continued until after spring break of my spring semester were God wrecked my heart and asked me " if I cared more about what people thought or what he thought?" For the first time in my life I answered him! He helped me to learn something I will never forget.
" I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139 :14 tells us. For the first time I truly realized God made me, like me for a reason. That He loves me, and through his son Jesus Christ he has adopted me into his family. He is my father, my constant companion and my perfect rock.
The stupidity of my former ways smacked me in the face as I soon realized "For someone who was searching for who he was, I never asked the one who made me?" Our creator created each of us with a specific purpose and NO ONE is here by accident regardless of what some people may say. Each life is truly beautiful and unique.
When we ask Christ into our hearts and truly allow Him to be lord over our life, we find our Identity for this first time. We find we have been given a "Born Identity". Meaning that we are not defined by how good of a jumpshot we posses or how much or job pays. We are defined by how good our Savior is and how much he paid for us to have a relationship with Him.
My name is Dustin Wells, and I'm a recovering Identity Theft victim. I am no longer defined by being "the funny guy" or "the jock" or "______'s boyfriend" or "the heart breaker" or "The prideful preacher" or even "a minister of the Lord"; no I am defined by what Jesus Christ did on the cross for me. I am defined because I have given him all of my life and because of this I have been given a "Born Identity".
America has made Identity Theft a popularized crime and an ever-growing awareness to the dangers of it. However, when we say Identity Theft we tend to solely focus on our bank accounts. We flip out if someone is taking our identity so that they can use our credit cards and ruin our precious credit scores. This idea of Identity Theft focuses on someone stealing or taking your identity, whether that be financial or lifestyle. We have made movies about people recovering their identity from someone else, (Bourne Identity series).
We all cheer when Matt Damon beats up the people who stole his Identity from him, while the majority of us are losing our Identity without even knowing it.
I'm a recovering Identity Theft Victim and I too like Matt Damon have had to fight entities to recover who I am. The main difference between Matt Damon and myself is that I gave my Identity away while Matt Damon had his stolen away.
Who am I?
That was the question I was seeking to answer throughout my middle and high school years, and I looked in all the wrong places.
In middle school I wanted to be the kid who got to hang out with cool kids so badly that I allowed myself to get bullied and pressure into doing things that I knew were wrong just so I could be in their "club". However, this still left me being empty inside and quite frankly I didn't like very much who I was at that point. So I kept looking....
Later in Middle School I found a pretty solid group of friends but I still didn't know who I was, so when I made the middle school soccer team I though that I would be the masculine jock. (Okay looking back now, I do realize that sounds ridiculous) However this didn't work very well at this point in my life, and my 8th grade year I actually had to undergo knee surgery which of course put me out of commission. I had tried to place who I was in sports at this point and found that it wasn't enough....
So then like every guy ever did I started to try to define who I was by who I was or was not dating. For three years off and on I was Heidi McClure's boyfriend and I liked that. However seeing how that was where my identity lied this led to problems and shortcomings on my behalf. I claimed to be a Christ follower but for some one who claimed that I sure was trying to play God in my own life, or even yet exalt things to the same level as Him.
After my shortcomings and immaturity led to my relationship with Heidi ending I continued to try to not address the real problem of myself by pursuing more girls, because if I found the right one it would fix everything! I very quickly got my heart broken again and again because despite how ridiculous it was I was seeking these girls to fill my void in my heart left by not knowing who I was.
It was then that I was no longer okay with having my heartbroken and decided to jade my heart and basically define myself by not only who I was going on dates with but who else I could get to be interested in me. These flings lasted shorter and shorter because the whole in my heart got greater and greater, my life was only as good as my "girl" at the time was. If I was single something was wrong with me.
This hole remained all the way through my high school years, as I would then try to fill it with basketball as well as girls. Even though I was an all-conference forward and dated the "girl of my dreams" I found that I was still not comfortable with who I was. I couldn't figure it out.
I made it to college and was immediately thrust into a ministerial position due to charisma and natural leadership ability. However, I didn't have the character or integrity necessary for this position. So this promotion allowed me to get extremely prideful and quite honestly fake. I didn't know who I was so I tried to become the position i was assigned, I tried to become the man I thought people wanted me to be.
This struggle and fakeness continued until after spring break of my spring semester were God wrecked my heart and asked me " if I cared more about what people thought or what he thought?" For the first time in my life I answered him! He helped me to learn something I will never forget.
" I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139 :14 tells us. For the first time I truly realized God made me, like me for a reason. That He loves me, and through his son Jesus Christ he has adopted me into his family. He is my father, my constant companion and my perfect rock.
The stupidity of my former ways smacked me in the face as I soon realized "For someone who was searching for who he was, I never asked the one who made me?" Our creator created each of us with a specific purpose and NO ONE is here by accident regardless of what some people may say. Each life is truly beautiful and unique.
When we ask Christ into our hearts and truly allow Him to be lord over our life, we find our Identity for this first time. We find we have been given a "Born Identity". Meaning that we are not defined by how good of a jumpshot we posses or how much or job pays. We are defined by how good our Savior is and how much he paid for us to have a relationship with Him.
My name is Dustin Wells, and I'm a recovering Identity Theft victim. I am no longer defined by being "the funny guy" or "the jock" or "______'s boyfriend" or "the heart breaker" or "The prideful preacher" or even "a minister of the Lord"; no I am defined by what Jesus Christ did on the cross for me. I am defined because I have given him all of my life and because of this I have been given a "Born Identity".
Thursday, October 27, 2011
You can't earn it, so appreciate it
Confession: I know it has been a month since my last post but as this blog will show I have been dealing and pondering a lot lately. I will continue to write more and more blogs, but this one sits special in my heart as it comes from some of the wounds and healing of my heart. Hope you enjoy!
Growing up as a young man in life, one lesson that tends to often repeat itself in my talks with the older generation is that you earn everything you receive. For the longest time I would nod along and say "Hmmmm that's good stuff", but now something that I have been learning in my life is causing me to question this statement. It is a good reminder to work hard and never take anything for granted and has oftentimes charged me onward in times of laziness. My only struggle with this comes when we try to stretch this philosophy into our faith and relationship with God.
Christianity focuses so much on the blessings when we are in Christ which we have received: Eternal Life, a relationship with God, Conquerors of Sin.... etc. So if I am receiving so much now that Christ is the ruler of my life (and trust me I am!) the question is what did I do to earn this? Or even if I want these blessings to continue I better be good and work hard to earn them. This passes on down into if I want God to love me, I have to earn it by _______. (You can insert whatever it may be in the blank)
This has been the scary downward spiral I had been caught into over the past month, I was caught in as my friends and I call it "the pursuit of perfection". If you don't understand what I am talking about please let me explain very briefly. I had been ensnared into the lie that because I had received God's love I better earn it. Almost defaulting back to my basketball playing days in the sense that when I received my starting position my senior year I played and practiced every day as hard as I could to earn it. I felt like each day that I had to be perfect to keep God's love. I knew that Christ died for me, but I thought because he did that I needed to be perfect. However, I am a human so of course I would sin. The big problem is that when I would sin I would beat myself up and be ashamed of myself. I would get in this cycle where I was only happy when I was in my idiotic eyes "perfect" and the moment I would sin I would battle this shame and feel down.
At this moment I was down for the count, I knew that until Christ perfects me one day in Heaven that I am going to sin here on Earth so what can I do? I was tired of the shame, fear, and perfection seeking faith. I knew that Christianity was so much more than this, and that this dangerous cycle couldn't be the right way! So finally I sought help from my Brothers! What they said and what I read and for the first time internalized is changing my life, I would like to share it now with you!
(Side Note: If you don't have friends that you can bring your struggles and weaknesses to, real Brothers and Sisters that will stand alongside when you are facing attacks, real men and women who won't turn their backs on you and won't give up on you, who love you to much to see you continue to wade in sin; If you don't have some friends like this you are missing out on one of God's GREATEST blessings!)
God's love for us is perfect! It is unconditional, which means that there is nothing we can do to make Him love us less or make Him love us more. When we are in Christ there is no condemnation! Christ came and shed his blood so that by his blood we would be washed white as snow! Christ loves us so much that while we were still sinners he died for us! He came and died for EVERYONE! Not just the good-two shoes!
Finally in the midst of this talk with my brothers and my own searching through the scriptures God yelled at me. He said "Dustin you fool, you don't have to earn my love! I Love You! I love you now, I loved you yesterday, I will love you tomorrow, I loved you when you lied to your friend, I loved you when you accepted my son as your savior, I am consistent and will never stop loving you! There is nothing that can separate you from my love! There is no life, no death, no angel, no demon, no height, and no depth that could ever separate my love from you! You don't have to earn my love, so simply appreciate it!
"You don't have to earn my love, so simply appreciate it!" We as Christians don't need to be perfect to earn God's love, we simply need to live our lives in gratitude of it! Out of that gratitude, our obedience to Christ should flow!
Growing up as a young man in life, one lesson that tends to often repeat itself in my talks with the older generation is that you earn everything you receive. For the longest time I would nod along and say "Hmmmm that's good stuff", but now something that I have been learning in my life is causing me to question this statement. It is a good reminder to work hard and never take anything for granted and has oftentimes charged me onward in times of laziness. My only struggle with this comes when we try to stretch this philosophy into our faith and relationship with God.
Christianity focuses so much on the blessings when we are in Christ which we have received: Eternal Life, a relationship with God, Conquerors of Sin.... etc. So if I am receiving so much now that Christ is the ruler of my life (and trust me I am!) the question is what did I do to earn this? Or even if I want these blessings to continue I better be good and work hard to earn them. This passes on down into if I want God to love me, I have to earn it by _______. (You can insert whatever it may be in the blank)
This has been the scary downward spiral I had been caught into over the past month, I was caught in as my friends and I call it "the pursuit of perfection". If you don't understand what I am talking about please let me explain very briefly. I had been ensnared into the lie that because I had received God's love I better earn it. Almost defaulting back to my basketball playing days in the sense that when I received my starting position my senior year I played and practiced every day as hard as I could to earn it. I felt like each day that I had to be perfect to keep God's love. I knew that Christ died for me, but I thought because he did that I needed to be perfect. However, I am a human so of course I would sin. The big problem is that when I would sin I would beat myself up and be ashamed of myself. I would get in this cycle where I was only happy when I was in my idiotic eyes "perfect" and the moment I would sin I would battle this shame and feel down.
At this moment I was down for the count, I knew that until Christ perfects me one day in Heaven that I am going to sin here on Earth so what can I do? I was tired of the shame, fear, and perfection seeking faith. I knew that Christianity was so much more than this, and that this dangerous cycle couldn't be the right way! So finally I sought help from my Brothers! What they said and what I read and for the first time internalized is changing my life, I would like to share it now with you!
(Side Note: If you don't have friends that you can bring your struggles and weaknesses to, real Brothers and Sisters that will stand alongside when you are facing attacks, real men and women who won't turn their backs on you and won't give up on you, who love you to much to see you continue to wade in sin; If you don't have some friends like this you are missing out on one of God's GREATEST blessings!)
God's love for us is perfect! It is unconditional, which means that there is nothing we can do to make Him love us less or make Him love us more. When we are in Christ there is no condemnation! Christ came and shed his blood so that by his blood we would be washed white as snow! Christ loves us so much that while we were still sinners he died for us! He came and died for EVERYONE! Not just the good-two shoes!
Finally in the midst of this talk with my brothers and my own searching through the scriptures God yelled at me. He said "Dustin you fool, you don't have to earn my love! I Love You! I love you now, I loved you yesterday, I will love you tomorrow, I loved you when you lied to your friend, I loved you when you accepted my son as your savior, I am consistent and will never stop loving you! There is nothing that can separate you from my love! There is no life, no death, no angel, no demon, no height, and no depth that could ever separate my love from you! You don't have to earn my love, so simply appreciate it!
"You don't have to earn my love, so simply appreciate it!" We as Christians don't need to be perfect to earn God's love, we simply need to live our lives in gratitude of it! Out of that gratitude, our obedience to Christ should flow!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
He chose us
Hey guys today I ask that you will bear with me as for just this one post I want to set aside the funny stories and analogies in order to focus on something vital and important. I'm not an ultra serious guy but this is one message that can truly change your life, and I don't say that lightly or proudly because as you will soon find out it has nothing to do with me.
Allow yourselves for a few minutes to be taken into a court room, where you are the defendant and everyone it seems is your prosecutor. You have broken no law, but yet here you stand accused of crimes that can lead to death. After hearing numerous screams and attacks on your character by the crowds the judge then turns to you to attempt to get your side of the story. However, when he asks his question instead of starting to defend yourself you simply remain silent.
How crazy does that sound? Here you are wrongly accused of crimes you didn't commit, facing the worst punishment imaginable and yet when you have the chance to defend yourself, to stand up and save your own life, you choose to instead remain silent. To not even tell the Judge where you are from, Why would anyone do that? I mean in the words of my Dad when he would catch me in a lie "Boy are you just looking to get whipped?".
As lucid or unreal as this scene may sound this is exactly what Jesus did in his last few hours before his crucifiction. We find this very scene in the beginning of John 19, where Jesus remains silent throughout the questioning, only speaking up for a brief second to quickly put Pilate in his place.
Through my years of studying and going to church and school if there is one lesson I have learned it's this: Jesus was very intentional about everything he did. What may have looked like him going to a random samarian village was really a trip for a woman to meet her savior (John 4). There are countless other examples throughout the Gospels, but that theme got me questioning why did Jesus choose to remain silent? Why didn't he choose to save himself?
As I sat there frustrated with Jesus for a few seconds because he didn't make a choice, He hit me square in the face and said "I did make a choice Dustin, I chose the cross."
Talk about feeling like a complete idiot, man there I sat flabbergasted and breathless as I contemplated what I had just heard. That Jesus had the chance to defend himself to avoid the cross altogether but instead chose to remain silent. He chose the cross.
My mind then raced to the scene in the Garden of Gethsemane where the soldiers come to arrest Jesus, and Peter tries to protect Jesus and in the process chops a soldiers ear off. (Side note, this is one of the scenes in the Bible I really wish I could watch. Something tells me Mike Tyson has nothing on this.) Jesus then heals the man's ear and rebukes Peter saying don't you understand that I could summon angels down here right now to rescue me? Jesus then goes with the soldiers.
My mind racing at this point, recalling various times in Scripture where it really seems that Jesus time and time again chooses the cross. From a Sunday school perspective I could ration that it was because he wanted me to go to heaven so he had to die for my sins. But that wasn't sitting right in my stomach, I knew there had to be something more. Why choose the cross?????
"I didn't choose the cross, I chose you" He replied. You want to know why I suffered and endured pain and mockery, it was so that you ,through my payment of your sins, could experience a relationship with the Heavenly Father! John 17:3 tells us "This is eternal life, that you may know God, through the one whom he has sent in Christ Jesus." The word to know there is meaning to know someone due to a relationship you have with them. Frankly Jesus chose the cross so that we could have a real relationship with him!
Joking aside I asked myself and I challenge you to ask yourself " Is the way I value my relationship with God equivalent with the price paid for it?" If my parents bought me something as a kid they expected me to play with it and use it. Jesus paid the price for us so that we could have a relationship with Him and God through the Holy spirit. Are we using it? Or has that gift just become something we hold onto that collects dust.?
He chose you! He paid the price for you! Will you use it?
Allow yourselves for a few minutes to be taken into a court room, where you are the defendant and everyone it seems is your prosecutor. You have broken no law, but yet here you stand accused of crimes that can lead to death. After hearing numerous screams and attacks on your character by the crowds the judge then turns to you to attempt to get your side of the story. However, when he asks his question instead of starting to defend yourself you simply remain silent.
How crazy does that sound? Here you are wrongly accused of crimes you didn't commit, facing the worst punishment imaginable and yet when you have the chance to defend yourself, to stand up and save your own life, you choose to instead remain silent. To not even tell the Judge where you are from, Why would anyone do that? I mean in the words of my Dad when he would catch me in a lie "Boy are you just looking to get whipped?".
As lucid or unreal as this scene may sound this is exactly what Jesus did in his last few hours before his crucifiction. We find this very scene in the beginning of John 19, where Jesus remains silent throughout the questioning, only speaking up for a brief second to quickly put Pilate in his place.
Through my years of studying and going to church and school if there is one lesson I have learned it's this: Jesus was very intentional about everything he did. What may have looked like him going to a random samarian village was really a trip for a woman to meet her savior (John 4). There are countless other examples throughout the Gospels, but that theme got me questioning why did Jesus choose to remain silent? Why didn't he choose to save himself?
As I sat there frustrated with Jesus for a few seconds because he didn't make a choice, He hit me square in the face and said "I did make a choice Dustin, I chose the cross."
Talk about feeling like a complete idiot, man there I sat flabbergasted and breathless as I contemplated what I had just heard. That Jesus had the chance to defend himself to avoid the cross altogether but instead chose to remain silent. He chose the cross.
My mind then raced to the scene in the Garden of Gethsemane where the soldiers come to arrest Jesus, and Peter tries to protect Jesus and in the process chops a soldiers ear off. (Side note, this is one of the scenes in the Bible I really wish I could watch. Something tells me Mike Tyson has nothing on this.) Jesus then heals the man's ear and rebukes Peter saying don't you understand that I could summon angels down here right now to rescue me? Jesus then goes with the soldiers.
My mind racing at this point, recalling various times in Scripture where it really seems that Jesus time and time again chooses the cross. From a Sunday school perspective I could ration that it was because he wanted me to go to heaven so he had to die for my sins. But that wasn't sitting right in my stomach, I knew there had to be something more. Why choose the cross?????
"I didn't choose the cross, I chose you" He replied. You want to know why I suffered and endured pain and mockery, it was so that you ,through my payment of your sins, could experience a relationship with the Heavenly Father! John 17:3 tells us "This is eternal life, that you may know God, through the one whom he has sent in Christ Jesus." The word to know there is meaning to know someone due to a relationship you have with them. Frankly Jesus chose the cross so that we could have a real relationship with him!
Joking aside I asked myself and I challenge you to ask yourself " Is the way I value my relationship with God equivalent with the price paid for it?" If my parents bought me something as a kid they expected me to play with it and use it. Jesus paid the price for us so that we could have a relationship with Him and God through the Holy spirit. Are we using it? Or has that gift just become something we hold onto that collects dust.?
He chose you! He paid the price for you! Will you use it?
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